Relocation and Return: Parents share their experiences raising families in St Andrews

“It's a funny place to raise a family, to be honest, because it's sort of like a lot of very young people and very old people,” Emma Crowe, mother of Hugo and Amelia, told me.

If you look beyond the crowds of the elderly trying not to get run over by throngs of students rushing to tutorials, you’ll see that St Andrews is very much a family town. In fact, the University contributes to the younger generation of St Andrews residents. 

“All the kids' things we go to are just so popular that there is a complete mix of people that are local, people that are connected to the University or people that are in the local area,” Crowe said. 

The large community of families proved helpful to Michael Stark, a father of four. Last month, his family moved from a small town in Texas to St Andrews so that he could pursue a Master’s degree in literature. Stark was initially worried about his family finding their footing on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.

“There were just the concerns of being able to set up a household,” Stark told me. “We had a very close- knit community in Texas, which was difficult leaving.” 

However, St Andrews’ supportive network of families proved especially welcoming. “It hasn't been especially difficult to find other people who are in our same sort of situation,” Stark said. “You meet them by happenstance, by going to programs that are designed for kids. You're sure to run into another university student or faculty member with kids.”

Just like first-years, upon arriving in St Andrews, Stark and his family had to be constantly outgoing. As his children will be homeschooled for the following year, his family cannot rely on the crutch of classmates to build friendships. 

“It just requires a lot of being aggressively hospitable and aggressively seeking out those other families

— especially because they're not enrolled in school and don’t have a social network built in with their class,” Stark said. “That's why we’re kind of aggressively going out and seeking out those sorts of opportunities. They just kind of come to you if you live somewhere and are already there and established.”

For Crowe, moving her family to St Andrews was less of a migration and more of a homecoming. Her move to St Andrews from Suffolk three years ago was a chance to give her children the same childhood she had, as well as to reconnect with familiar faces. “I always wanted to come back. I’m happy that panned out,” Crowe said. “My mum still lives locally. I found a lot of my friends that I went to school with are now coming back as well. We’re getting to that age.”

For Crowe, the memories that her children make now are similar to her own. “We were always on the beach,” Crowe said. “And my kids are exactly the same. We go to the beach all the time.”

St Andrews’ proximity to the natural world has proved a big asset for Stark’s family as well. “They love [...] the Botanical Garden, and they love the beach,” Stark said. “It can be freezing, and they'll still go in the water and splash around. They have zero compunction about taking the polar plunge.” 

Beyond the scenic landscapes, St Andrews also offers a variety of extracurricular activities for its younger citizens. Stark’s children are involved in Dance St Andrews at a local Episcopalian church, amongst other extracurriculars.

“My son, he altar serves at the local Catholic parish,” Stark said. “We haven't gotten them into any sports, like the Junior Saints, but we plan to.”

Both parents also made note of the local library and how it acts as a support system. For Stark’s family, exploring the public library has helped to integrate his family into the happenings around town. “Give a shout out to Patti,” Stark told me. “She clued us into some different kids’ programs and rummage sales and all sorts of stuff that was going on. They have a reading group on Thursdays and Saturdays for toddlers.”

The broad range of activities offered to families in St Andrews can come as a surprise given the town’s limited size. “I think it's unusual to be in such a small place that has so many facilities,” Crowe said. “When my kids are older, they could walk and do any sport or any music, anything you can think of. All those different links and experiences that, if you lived elsewhere in the country, there's just no way that you could have that easy access to and that much local knowledge.”

Crowe accredits the unique balance St Andrews boasts between small-town friendliness and metropolitan-level opportunity to the University. “There is more stuff for the kids that wouldn't be there if it wasn't for the university,” Crowe said. “You know, all these facilities wouldn't be maintained in the way they are, or things like the Wardlaw Museum or whatever, [...] if it wasn't for the University.” 

The impact of the University is felt in other ways, as well. The large population of international students and faculty exists at all levels of education within the town. “I don't know if it's just because [...] my kids go to the Uni nursery, but a lot of their friends speak different languages,” Crowe said. “A lot of staff are the same [...] I think it's great.”

The multicultural impact of the St Andrews community is already visible in Crowe’s daughter, Amelia. 

“What did she say the other day? She said ‘Dankeschön,’” Crowe said. “She was quite chuffed with herself. She learns all these different things from her peers. I don’t think you’d get that normally, so that’s quite fun.” 

While the child-rearing experience offered by St Andrews does have a wide array of benefits, it naturally also has its shortcomings. Though Crowe finds the University’s nursery to be an excellent source of childcare, the limited availability does weigh it down. 

“I would say one of the big reasons I moved home and then was like, ‘I’m not moving again,’ is there was a really long wait list for all the nurseries in St Andrews,” Crowe said. “I think when I moved, [it was] about a year you had to wait to get into a nursery. So you basically have to put them down when you're pregnant if you want to go back to work.”

As a Master’s student, Stark has found some difficulty in balancing education and parenting. “I tried to bring one of my daughters into the library on a Saturday, just to print something out, and then was kicked out almost immediately because they have a no-child policy,” Stark said. “It certainly makes things difficult for university students with families.”

Stark acknowledged that children can be frustrating in public spaces, but said that a greater consideration for families would be beneficial: “I just think having the understanding that some students are gonna have kids, and it can be difficult to bring them places sometimes. So having that inclusivity towards families would help.” 

While Crowe too appreciates the University, she joked, “Maybe not at 2am when I'm knocking on the [door of the] student [flat] next door.”

Illustration by Kyla Biesty