Let's Take Heists Seriously

This isn't a movie

What could be more scandalous than one of the world’s most famous art museums being burgled in broad daylight? That is textbook drama and intrigue, the stuff of Hollywood! Yet in 2025, anything is possible. Upon discovering the news that the Louvre was robbed, I was surprised by how the online community quickly interpreted this situation as lighthearted and comical. I should not have been, given that it is the internet. Nevertheless, it made me ponder if we have ever taken heists seriously, or if no one takes them seriously anymore. Have we just accepted them as a silly little happenstance, an exposure of faulty security? Today, I shall dive into the world of heists, wondering how we got in this position, and whether we can pull ourselves out of it. 

When speaking about heists in the modern age, there is only one place to start: movies and TV. For this, I shall have to bare my soul to you and admit my deep and fierce love for Ocean’s Eleven (2001). What lightning in a bottle they captured with this gem! George Clooney masterminds brilliance, planning out the impossible heist of a Las Vegas casino with the help of Brad Pitt and an exclusive team of criminals. The music is catchy, the dialogue is witty, and the energy is electric. Love for this movie is widespread, given its success and succeeding sequels and adaptations that have since followed. Even Rihanna wanted to live the Ocean’s dream! The intrigue of this movie lies in its logistics. The group is faced with an impossible challenge, but through their combined wit and talents, those sly dogs manage to pull it off. This movie exploits the ultimate fascination with burglary that lives deep inside each and every one of us. When we consider the Louvre heist, a similar fascination arises. How did they pull off this stunt so effortlessly? At 9:30 in the AM, no less? I truly have no clue. People have no choice but to be curious about the details of the case; it's what the movies taught us!

Moreover, where there is a mystery, there must be a detective. The all-knowing light in the darkness, who is able to solve the unsolvable through their unique observation and interpretation skills, someone to match the intellect of the thief. We find ourselves in a truly unique moment with this Louvre business, as we have the chance to witness a true, genuine French detective. Could it be Inspector Jacques Clouseau or that one French policewoman from Madagascar Three, Capitaine Chantel DuBois? Poirot is Belgian, so he shall only appear if they ask nicely, but anything is on the table. The love of the detective alongside the fascination for the heist means that this entire situation is setting itself up to be a real nailbiter. After all, life does imitate art or whatever they say.

No, but it's not funny, is it? It’s actually quite serious. Regardless of how you feel about the jewels, their colonial history and acquisition, one thing is certain: they will probably never be seen by the general public again. And this is sad! What was once available to be visited and admired is now shut away in what I can only assume is an evil lair hidden away in a basement, like the Batcave but French. The gems are probably not going to be returned to their land of origin and cultural custodians by the robbers, and this is also most likely not a Robin Hood situation wherein the wealth from those gems is distributed among the deserving public. Now no one gets to visit these historic art pieces anymore, nor do they benefit from the potential income of selling them to an immensely wealthy buyer (unless you were the thief, it did happen during reading week after all). So what now? Sure, you can say that it was only a bit of bling snatched, that the rest of the Louvre is still there waiting for you, but that’s not the point nor the attitude! Are we meant to be grateful that these sly thieves only took a handful of knick-knacks and not the whole floor? To be fair to you, I do not know the load capacity of the thieves or their nifty little elevator, so maybe. But I do not accept this. 

Ultimately, I think we struggle to take this caper seriously because of its circumstances; after all, it is playing out like a movie right in front of us. The mysterious thieves who move in broad daylight and the opportunity for French detective activity are too fascinating to be taken seriously. Yet this heist did have real consequences! Art and history lose a little piece of themselves when people overlook their value for profit.

Illustration by Isabelle Holloway