Go On, Hit Send

A Love Letter To Drunk Texting

I have a secret. Admittedly, it’s a hobby I should have left behind in the ‘ttyl’ era of BlackBerry Messenger, but nonetheless one I can’t shake. To know me is to know my drunk texting habit. And to have my contact in your phone is to risk being on its receiving end. I’d like to think my days of embarrassing drinking stories were over when I retired my trusted blue WKD and graduated onto the far more grown-up ‘Pablo’ (as one does). But I think my friends would disagree. The thing is, I’ve been known to down one too many tequila shots and take to the Messenger app like a Facebook mum drunk on too much wine. It’s a shameful tendency but one that is characteristic of my drunken antics. Yet strangely, the freedom I feel in these moments is unparalleled and the outcomes are always hilarious. And these drunken revelations do make me feel great at the time. But there always looms the inevitable hang-xiety from waking up to a series of question marks from your entire contact list. But here’s the thing. For the most part I don’t regret sending these texts (ok, maybe one or two). I would never send them sober, but I think that’s the beauty of them. It permits me a level of confidence and authenticity I would never otherwise have. As a university student who probably wastes too much of her time overthinking my interactions, this freedom is something I welcome and something maybe you should too.

Drunk texting, though a normality in our town of alcohol-fuelled students, is only a new phenomenon. Our phones are with us 24/7 and so in our darkest, drunkest moments we can not only embarrass ourselves in front of our closest friends but in fact the entire world wide web. Saying that, my drunken interactions often stay within my social circles. My go-to is badgering a friend that isn’t out, usually one with an essay deadline, to come and join us. I also communicate differently with my friends when I’m drunk. I will inevitably text them all how much I appreciate them and swipe up on all their stories to comment heart eyes. I’ve been on the receiving end of such interactions, and I think it’s a nice way to tell your friends you’re thinking of them, and that you care.

I think we all need to take things less seriously. Society is constantly imposing expectation after expectation on us and our interactions and it’s something we need to reject. I think the confidence and authenticity in drunk texting, not the lack of grammatical prowess, is genuinely powerful. It might be hard to believe, but it’s allowed me to start and restart friendships and have some very surprising interactions. It’s harmless after all. They reply or they don’t. And the trusty “my friend stole my phone” line is always there for you in the morning (but shh… that stays between us).

It’s often said that drunk words are sober thoughts and, not to shoot myself in the foot here, but I think it’s largely true. When we drunk text someone, it often feels like shouting into the void. It’s a shaky moment of authenticity when our guard is down, and we have plausible deniability over what we say and do. That risky “wish u were here” text or sly friend request is something you probably wouldn’t do sober, but you’ve probably thought about it. We’re honest with ourselves about what we want, and we go for it. And isn’t that something we should all strive for?

Professional as ever, my drunken self is nothing but ambitious. I’m on the prowl to secure myself a respected and trusted reputation and, naturally, this starts with alcohol. Embarrassingly, ask many of The Saint’s editorial board and they will confirm this for you. I do in fact “luv ur paper xoxo”, Olivia. My text history has also included hounding some less than enthusiastic recipients to “plssss vote for me!”.. Inevitably, there’s a thrill from texting someone you probably shouldn’t but I think it’s more than that. It’s putting yourself out there for things you otherwise would shy away from. I have however deleted the Outlook app (there are, after all, some lines you really shouldn’t cross).

Not everyone is going to agree with me here. And I’m sure some of them will have very compelling arguments and undoubtedly some screenshots. But I think we all need to be less critical of direct and honest communication and have a little bit more fun outside of university’s inevitable social pressures. I’m not suggesting you should all unblock your exes and text your tutors (please don’t actually). But next time you want to drunk-text someone, take a moment to think, and if it’s something you really want to say then why not? I dare you.

Illustration: Lucy Westernberger