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After an emotional farewell to your parents and awkward first conversations with your roommate under your shared room’s jarring, hospital-esque lighting, upon waking up the next morning, it’s time for your greatest uni challenge yet: braving the dining hall for breakfast. Standing in line along with a host of other nervous 18-year-olds (and closet 17-year-old Scots) waiting on their plastic-y eggs, diluted coffee, and potato scones, you cast a glance across to the tables ahead. Who will you choose to sit with on this all-important first day? 


Don’t Walk has an intimidating aura from the get-go. Dressed mysteriously in all black, they’re definitely opting for a black americano, at a push, with just a dash of milk, when they order at Palompo’s or Taste (read: must not be a chain - way too mainstream). Looking down at your matching St Andrews lanyard and sweater, you feel a little out of your depth. But maybe this American enigma, who most definitely studies IR, can help you with your tutorial prep in their room, techno-pumping in the background. Honestly, who knows — Don’t Walk’s identity is (and will remain) a total mystery.


Sitara has an immediate alternative but cool presence, somewhat generating  Janice-from-Mean-Girls energy, and greeting you with a smile. Amidst a sea of dark hoodies obscuring hungover faces, their colourful, patterned morning fit dazzles. You can vaguely hear some tinny Cocteau Twins through their headphones upon approaching. Sitara is probably doodling or on Pinterest creating a mood board, so you’re not sure whether to disturb them. Never mind… maybe you’ll catch them out tonight — you can be sure they won’t be seen dead swaying side-to-side at a Union event; a house party with legit dancing on Market Street is more their sophisticated style.


You might be drawn to VS for their extremely baggy jeans and never-ending layers of street-style clothes they seem to have effortlessly thrown on at 8:30. If you choose to sit with them, you might have to do a quick Google search of “top 10 niche films that everyone already knows.”  Only once you know your film culture and your favourite era of Art History will they accept you. They might not even mention their fashion show on the first day of meeting! Even if you don’t seem to be their vibe, they will still invite you to tag along for their morning coffee at Starbucks with a side of cigarettes. If they really take a liking to you, you can hope to get a free ticket to one of their many promotional nights at the Vic. 


You do a final pan of the room and see FS sitting at the corner table with their long fur coat and Maison Margiela Tabi’s. You consider dumping your tray because all they have on the table in front of them is a matcha latte from Spoiled. Don’t bother asking them where their pants are from because they’ll say thrifted even though they’re from The RealReal. Make sure to mention you take management, you could walk to your lecture together unless they skip again. As you do a final pan of your options, you head over to that secluded table because you feel familiar with FS. After all, you have seen the countless Starfields Instagram stories the freshers reps in your class reposted before stepping foot on campus. 


Illustration: Holly Ward

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